after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
