you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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