I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
