Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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