Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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