Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
