maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
