Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
can u get pink eye on your cock?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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