She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
