There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
