I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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