I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
