just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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