Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
