just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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