we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
