I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
