He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
