Jerry, you need to find god
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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