Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
