You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize