Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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