I am puke
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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