The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
