i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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