I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
two words: eviction party
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
