After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He? As in you personified your dick?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
