just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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