Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Operation Purity has been aborted
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize