kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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