I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
