There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
