Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize