getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
