Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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