Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize