i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Im part way to drunk.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize