There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize