I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
