He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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