Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You've changed since you got that strap on
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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