I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize