Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
