Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
home. puking in laundry basket.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
