I think im going to throw up on grandma
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
