Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
