Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
