drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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