I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
