He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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