I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
handjob tips. give me some.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
