The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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