Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
