Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
