Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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