I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
