The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
