Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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