the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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