Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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