I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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