What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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