Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Are my feet made of real feet?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
