you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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