Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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